"I give thanks to Christ Jesus our Lord, who has strengthened me, because He considered me faithful, appointing me to the ministry." I Timothy 1:12
I take refuge in this passage. It is indeed only by the grace of God that He considered me faithful enough to be appointed to the ministry. And my heart swells in gratefulness for what He has been enabling me to do.
After graduating at BBSI last March 2009, the Lord led me to my homechurch, Heritage Baptist Church, here in Bukidnon. Though serving as a volunteer, the Lord opened doors of opportunities for me to serve as a Highschool Sundayschool teacher and Choir Director. It was quite a struggle at first. Being away for almost 5 years, i no longer felt the attachment i once had with the church people. almost everyone were new, and i felt my biggest weakness starting to creep in- the giant of intimidation. Feelings of inadequacy and insecurity bothered me at times, but with constant devotion, the Lord reminded me that He was with me all along.One morning, I somehow found myself rummaging at my old school textbooks and syllabi. I knew i had been trained and equipped for the ministry, but i struggled with putting it all into application. I was finally awakened to the reality that this was it- the real test. This is what i have been trained for, but deeper than that, i realized that i have also been trained to be fully dependent to the One who has called me- the Lord. This really isn't about me, this is, after all, HIS work. With guidance from some of our church workers, the Lord saw me through it. And the words of one of my mentors in BBSI came into picture- the MINISTRY IS PEOPLE. But like a rollercoaster, my life as a church worker had its ups and downs, too. The people sometimes put me down, like there are times when i feel like blaming them for the failure of the church ministries. For instance, the church choir was going nowhere. They had no commitment to practice on saturday nights. They practiced only whenever they felt like it. And it was the same with all the other ministries. Strangely, i still loved what i was doing despite the sight of my efforts going nowhere. But like what one of my teachers said, "If the Lord has called you to the ministry, He has not called you to be a success in it but to be faithful." Through the thickest and 'sickest' trials in it. Sometimes i find myself searching for answers- why, Lord? What is wrong with these people? And so much more. Most of the times i don't find any logical solutions, but the truth remains that the Lord won't always give you the answers you want to know. All He simply wants us to do is TRUST. If you are a hundred percent of the Lord's calling, then you believe that His grace is sufficient enough to help you go through anything.
In the last 5 years that I have been trained and equipped in BBSI, i realized that only the academic world ends after graduating. But the learning process in life and the ministry continue even after that. Inside the Seminary we study about the common church problems, formulate solutions, and even argue on rationalities. Most of the times we always come up with the best solutions, and truth be told, credit is always given to those blessed with the beautiful mind, or in other words, the winning side of a debate. But let's face it- only when you are in the ministry does the real test happen. All those formulated solutions do not make sense when not put into application. It's not about who received the most prestigious awards during the graduation or who made history in BBSI or whatever. It's the choices that you make when you are in the ministry- the life application of every lesson learned from the training ground that prepared you for what the Lord has called you for.
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