Frustrations in Life

              This school year’s about to end. Out of the depths of my heart, i conclude therefore that i have never seen students as disrespectful as the Thai high school kids. I have just been from the most evil(est) class in the first year level and it has left me awed not at how stubborn and disrespectful they are but how the Lord stopped me from shouting curses, throwing armchairs at them, hitting them with my boney knuckles right on their noses, or just slapping them with whatever i could grab a hold on.. *heavy sigh!!!* i’m tired. i’ve been led to question God why He brought me here, what His plan is, or if His purpose for me here was accomplished.. I’ll never forget last August when i just locked myself up in my bedroom, fell flat on my face and just cried like a baby asking Him why and just begging Him for “more grace” after a very long day with some wicked students and destructive criticism from a colleague.. i honestly would’ve quit by then. After half an hour of crying and just pouring my heart out to Him, i played one of my favorite songs by the Heritage Singers, “Through the Fire,” which only had me crying some more.. So that was like, 5 months ago. In other words, God’s grace was indeed sufficient! I’m still here teaching and able to put up with the world’s worst students’ crap. The fact that i cannot yet speak their language gives me an excuse for not being able to share the gospel. However, God has given me life! and that leaves me with the task to share the gospel through my lifestyle.. Though these badass hard core gnarly students piss me off on purpose, i still hope i made a difference, that unlike the rest of the teachers, i don’t hit them on the head (it’s what thai teachers do), slap them with books on their backs, or anything like that. Instead, God has filled me with grace to smile at them, hold my flaring temper, and just move on to teaching them English though most of them (if not all), doesn’t care whatever the hell i’m saying or writing on the board.. It’s been a tough year for me, but somehow i wanna spend another year in this country after which i’ll be settling in Pinas to teach Values Education (which is really what i want), or if not, have a chance to go somewhere else.. I’m just really frustrated right now, but taking everything to the Lord just gave me a bit of a relief knowing that i was able to finish that class and later i’m gonna go home and eat another gallon of ice cream! whoooo!! *smiles* Thank U Jesus!