Frustrations in Life

              This school year’s about to end. Out of the depths of my heart, i conclude therefore that i have never seen students as disrespectful as the Thai high school kids. I have just been from the most evil(est) class in the first year level and it has left me awed not at how stubborn and disrespectful they are but how the Lord stopped me from shouting curses, throwing armchairs at them, hitting them with my boney knuckles right on their noses, or just slapping them with whatever i could grab a hold on.. *heavy sigh!!!* i’m tired. i’ve been led to question God why He brought me here, what His plan is, or if His purpose for me here was accomplished.. I’ll never forget last August when i just locked myself up in my bedroom, fell flat on my face and just cried like a baby asking Him why and just begging Him for “more grace” after a very long day with some wicked students and destructive criticism from a colleague.. i honestly would’ve quit by then. After half an hour of crying and just pouring my heart out to Him, i played one of my favorite songs by the Heritage Singers, “Through the Fire,” which only had me crying some more.. So that was like, 5 months ago. In other words, God’s grace was indeed sufficient! I’m still here teaching and able to put up with the world’s worst students’ crap. The fact that i cannot yet speak their language gives me an excuse for not being able to share the gospel. However, God has given me life! and that leaves me with the task to share the gospel through my lifestyle.. Though these badass hard core gnarly students piss me off on purpose, i still hope i made a difference, that unlike the rest of the teachers, i don’t hit them on the head (it’s what thai teachers do), slap them with books on their backs, or anything like that. Instead, God has filled me with grace to smile at them, hold my flaring temper, and just move on to teaching them English though most of them (if not all), doesn’t care whatever the hell i’m saying or writing on the board.. It’s been a tough year for me, but somehow i wanna spend another year in this country after which i’ll be settling in Pinas to teach Values Education (which is really what i want), or if not, have a chance to go somewhere else.. I’m just really frustrated right now, but taking everything to the Lord just gave me a bit of a relief knowing that i was able to finish that class and later i’m gonna go home and eat another gallon of ice cream! whoooo!! *smiles* Thank U Jesus!

Invest in the Life of a Bible School Student

I saw them struggle and was tempted to question God(really, i did).."Lord, why do these people have to struggle in terms of finances??" i questioned Him a couple of times.. YET when HE answered me, i was swept off my feet and even found myself embarassed at how little my faith was compared to the lives of the people i saw struggling and used to deliberately question the ONE i called my PROVIDER..

I am writing this with the intention of challenging you to take on the ONE you also claim to be your Provider, and to experience the joy of being a blessing by INVESTING IN THE LIFE OF A BIBLE SCHOOL STUDENT (words of Sir Doug;-)... 

....here are STORIES OF LIVES that became my inspiration throughout my stay in the Seminary and whom the Lord used to answer some of my deepest questions which i never shared with anybody else while in the Seminary.. hope you'll be blessed and challenged..

...She sat beside me with tears welling up her eyes as she said, "i might not be able to return next semester..i cant pay my back accounts.." i just sat there, helpless as i promised i'd help her pray..

...another friend placed half of her meal in her lunchbox... i thought she was going to feed the flock of cats outside our dormitory.. but i was wrong.. she said it was for a friend who could no longer eat at the dining hall because of unpaid dining hall bills.. i told myself, "i've never thought of doing that to anybody around here.." shame on me..

...next was a close friend who was packing up her things.. i asked her where she was headed.. she said she was going to 'look' for a job to help support her sibling and herself and be able to pay the back accounts.. i obviously couldn't stop her.. although i tried to..

....he was sitting on a bench by himself with a promissory note in his hand..said he was too scared to hand it over to the president.. but he had to in order to take the exam.. he was just waiting for the 'right timing.'... i had to give him a pat on the back to boost up his confidence a bit..

....she approached me boldly and asked if she could do some of the laundry for me and said it'll be cheaper than the laundry shop outside of the school.. i was really impressed at how she so willingly did what she could just to help herself out financially.. and that girl showed me what faith at work really meant.. 

... these people are my heroes of faith ;-)

here's the other side of the stories...

a couple of the faculty and staff opened their own homes for some who couldn't eat at the dining hall.. some willingly paid for their dining hall bills... some gave anonymously... one faculty came up with scholarship organizations and even individual supporters.. the institution does not profit for itself. in fact it moves out of its way and does its best to help the students in pursuing their studies and and prepare them for the ministries they're headed to..

...these are real-life stories that led me to question God......and yet led me to tears when these people stood in front of the student body during our testimony time in the chapel and gave their moving testimonies at how the Lord provided their every need... these people have now graduated and are now in the ministries they have been called to.. i have to admit... i shrink everytime i remember how big their faith was- and how RICH their,and my, Provider is..


... i cannot boast of myself of having received my degree in Bachelor of Theology in BBSI.. only by the grace of God had i made it through the scholarship grants i have been blessed with... 

.. "Invest in the Life of a Bible School Student, as its value is eternal and see how the Lord will pay you back.." these are the words i heard a thousand times from my mentor everytime we went to different churches for school promotion and ministry.. 


...why does the Lord allow such to happen to those who had answered His call? because these people exemplify faith tremendously like no other.. and it is through these people that the Lord's glory shines brighter.. they make God famous in their predicaments..and not just when the blessings are flowing..

Ephesians 2:10- "you are God's workmanship created to do good works.." well He wants to bless you and it's amazing how He provides ways for you to do good works to be blessed!!
invest in the life of a Bible School student, you'll never know--- that life, that soon-to-become- minister, will change thousands of lives for Jesus... be a part of it!!! ;-) support a Bible school student! ;-)